If I replaced Link and made Zelda
by PsychoLink
Summary: If I have Replaced Link In Ocarina of Time!! pllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaassssssssssssssseeeeeeeeeeeeeee R&R!!! ::Kneels down and beg:: CHAPTA 3 IS UP!!!
1. The Beginning of the dumb and pointless ...

Well, new fic

Well, new fic. Thank you for your time to read this. Now read slave!!!!

Disclaimer: I sniff… don't.. sniff….. own…. Zelda!!! WAAAAAAAAAA!!!! Please don't make me say it again.

If I replaced Link 

** **

Navi: Hey!! WAKE UP!!

PsychoLink: Shut up.

Navi: HEY!! WAKE UP!!

PsychoLink: SHUT UP!!

Navi: HEY PSYCHOLINK, WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  


PsychoLink: SHUT THE HELL UP YOU FRICKIN' PIECE OF SHIT!!! ::Grabs flyswatter and BAAAAAAAAM!!!!::

Navi: Owieeeee….. I'm invincible. You need me on your quest to stop Ganondorf!

PsychoLink: Aw shit. Well, if I gonna have to stop him, I better get a sword. :: Runs off to the training place:: AHHHHHHHH!!! A giant boulder!!!! ::SQUISH:: Owwwwwww…… STUPID BOULDER!!! ::KICK!:: ::Boulder breaks in half, pouring out TONS of slingshot ammunition.:: Well that's convenient, I got a great slingshot right here and a bottomless bag. ::Gathers up all the bullets:: HEY A CHEST!!! ::Opens the chest:: ::Falls in:: AHHH!!!! I got stabbed in the arm by something!! Oh, a sword!! Hey! 

Navi: YOU GOT THE KOKIRI SWORD!!! You can….

PsychoLink: No more doing that or I'll stab you.

Navi: Doo dee daa dee doo….

PsychoLink: I guess I'll get a shield now. ::Runs to the store::

Store Guy: A shield is forty rupees. 

PsychoLink: You'll just give it to me for free.

Store Guy: Says who?

PsychoLink: Says my friend named sword!!! ::Points it at his neck::

Store Guy: Uh… hehehe…. He's pretty convincing…. HERE! Just leave… Please..

PsychoLink: Thank you. ::Runs to where Mido's standing:: Let me through::

Mido: WHAT IS THAT? A KOKIRI SWORD? AND A …

PsychoLink: Cut the speech. Just let me through.

Mido: Sorry, it's part of the job descrption I have to say the speech. WHAT IS THAT? A…

PsychoLink: ::Points Sword at Mido's neck:: LET. ME. THROUGH. NOW!

Mido: Errr…. Ummm….. alright….. ::Runs back to his house::

PsychoLink: That's better. ::Runs to Deku Tree::

Deku Tree: Navi hath finally…..

PsychoLink: CUT IT WITH THE SPEECH ALREADY!!!!

Deku Tree: Sorry, its..

PsychoLink: That's it I'm not doing this crap anymore. ::Throws sword and cuts off a HUUGE branch off the deku tree and grabs both:: Now LET ME THROUGH!!!

Deku Tree: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!! ALRIGHT!! ALRIGHT!!! ::Opens Mouth::

PsychoLink: Finally. ::Walks in:: A web.. Hmmmm…. ::Slash slash:: TA-DAAAAAAAAA!!!!! I don't have to drop down from a high ledge after all. ::Jumps Down:: Well….. lesse….. Oh what the heck. I don't know my way around here anyways so ::HACK HACK SLASH SLASH!!!:: YAY! I found I secret hole!!! ::Jumps in::

Navi: There's something strange here… HEY A DIVISION SIGN EYE!!!

::Gohma pops down and starts walking around::

PsychoLink: This should be a easy fight. ::Sticks his sword into Gohma's Eye::

Gohma: ::Dies and leaves a blue portal and container::

PsychoLink: SHEEEEEEESH. **YOInk**::Grabs heart container and jumps in the portal:: Alright deku tree, no speech. Just gimme the emerald.

Deku Tree: Alright…. ::Gives hi Kokiri's Emerald::

PsychoLink: YAAAAAAAAY!! I like green….. Well that's done!!

END CHAPTER ONE 

So whaddaya think?? Huh?? Huh??? Well, Please R&R 


	2. I'm off to see Zelda!!!

OKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY, We've proven it

OKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY, We've proven it. I'm insane. With only few fics and a couple of people who hate dis, WELL, please take your valuable time tor read and review my freak fics.

Disclaimer: No, I'm not gonna say it. Huh? Your gonna gimme ten bucks? SURE! Ahem, I do NOT own Zelda, but I own myself. Now gimme ten bucks. What? HEY! YOU LIED! ::Beats the crap out of reader:: Well, just continue reading.

Chapter 2 

** **

Mido: WHAT?!?!?! YOU KILLED THE DEKU TREE YOU FATASS!!!

PsychoLink: No I didn't!!! Get those three words into your scrawny little brain you freakin' lame-excuse-for-a-leader BITCH!!! ::Slices Mido's Head off::

Mido: ::Head pops back on::

PsychoLink: !_!

Mido: Heh heh. You can't kill me. Or hurt me. I have to play a role in the game later. It's in the..

PsychoLink: Yeah yeah, it's in the contract. Yeeesh. 

Navi: HEY! GET OUT OF THE FRICKIN" FOREST AND GO SEE THW FRICKIN' PRINCESS OF DESTINY!!!

PsychoLink: What?

Navi: Weren't you listening to the Deku Tree?

PsychoLink: I told him to cut the speech. Weren't you listening? 

Navi: I was sleeping in your hat. Oh, and get some more lice in there, they're tasty!!

PsychoLink: !_! HELL NO!!!!!! Does this have anything to do with the glop in my hat that you call "fairy dust"?

Navi: Maybeeeeeeeee….

PsychoLink: Luckily, I have a bottle. ::Catches Navi in a bottle::

Navi: fell het goo kykoo fasel goneady!!!  
  


PsychoLink: What?

Voice: Hmmmm…. I didn't quite understand that either. I'll have to clear that up.

PsychoLink: Huh?

Voice: I explained this in my last fic. You're my clone and I'm the real PsychoLink!!

PsychoLink: Oh yeah. You're not continuing it anymore are you?

**PsychoLink**: I might. NOW CONTINUE OR I'LL CUT YOUR SALARY IN HALF!!

PsychoLink: Alright alright…… Now, Navi, what did you say?

Navi: GET TOO HYRULE CASTLE ALREADY!!!

PsychoLink: Alright……. To Hyrule castle! ::ZIIIIIIIP::

::Stopped by Saria:: 

Saria: HERE!!! TAKE THIS PIECE OF JUNK I DON"T LIKE ANYMORE!! ::Chucks Ocarina at PsychoLink::

PsychoLink: ::Catches it:: Err…. Thanks…

PsychoLink: Uhhh….. Hyrule field…… AHHHHHHSCARY MONSTER!!! Oh, just an owl.

Kaepora Gaebora: Blah blah blah yadda yadda blah blah yadda yadda blah blah blah yadda yadda……..

PsychoLink: ::Taking a snooze::

Kaepora: Well, get on to hyrule castle!!

PsychoLink: Huh? Oh right, Hyrule castle…. ::walks ten paces forward:: WHOA!!! A giant deformed flower!! Geeez, I do NOT like this place. ::Hacks the Peheat to pieces::. Well, now I gotta get to Hyrule castle. ::RUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUN:: 

::Drawbridge closes::

PsychoLink: SHHHHHHHHHIIIITTTT!!! I guess I'll wait.

::StalChild pops up::

PsychoLink: What's that?

StalChild: ::punch::

PsychoLink: ::Unharmed:: Huh??

StalChild: ::scratch::

PsychoLink: :Eeensy weensy scratch:: Is that thing trying to hurt me?

StalChild: ::punch::

PsychoLink: ::Unharmed:: Yeah, I think so.

StalChild: ::Scracth::

PsychoLink: ::Unharmed:: Okkkaayy then, ::HACK HACK SLASH SLASH!!!:: oooh, that's gotta hurt.

::Drawbridge opens::

PsychoLink: Oooooh, finally. ::Walks in:: Oh…my…god….this…place…is….scary…… HOLY FRICKIN' CRAP!!! Just look at all these fucked up people! God, I gotta go get a better shield. ::Walks in the shop::

Store Owner: Whaddaya want?

PsychoLink: The best shield you have.

Store Owner: The hylian shield is eighty rupees. 

PsychoLink: WHAT!?!?!?!? Is that piece of shit the best shield you have??!?!?!?!?!??! ::Points Sword at store owner's neck::

Store Owner: UM..Um..Um…. we have a shield made with diamond and infinite ammunition flamethrower barrels on the front of the shield with trigger for 4 million….

PsychoLink: Well you're just gonna, right sword?? ::Points sword closer to store owner's neck::

Store owner: Ssssuuurrreee………. Hheerrree yyooouu goo.. NOW PLEASE LEAVE!!

PsychoLink: Thank you. ::Leaves:: I love my friend sword. ::Holds shield in front of him and fires trigger and starts runs to Hyrule castle:: 

Red Head Girl: ::Stops him:: Hi! Hey, that's a fairy, you're a kid from the forest! My names Malon!!

PsychoLink: Um, right, well I gotta get to hyrule castle. ::Runs there:: ::Sees Malon::

Malon: Here! Take this egg! I hate! I'm bored of sitting on it all day incubating it!! TAKE IT!!! ::Chucks egg at PyschoLink:: 

PsychoLink: HEY WATCH IT!! ::Catches egg:: Jeez, this place is scary. Why am I wasting my time trying to save this totally fucked up place? I wish we had a better script instead of being able to ad-lib half of it. Oh well. ::aims shield at metal bars and fires and running towards it:: :: Reaches Talon::

PsychoLink: JEEEZ! Those guards are truly blind and deaf!!! They didn't see the bars melt or the firing!

Navi: that's just the way it is. If you didn't notice, a reeeeeaaalllyyy fat guy is blocking you.

PsychoLink: No problemo. ::Fires shield:: 

Talon: ::Unharmed::.

PsychoLink: Well, maybe the cucco that just popped out of the egg can help.

Cucco: CUCCO!!!!!

Talon: Huh? I must have slept!!! Oh no! Malon's been looking for me!!! I'm gonna get it now!!! ::Runs off::

PsychoLink: Okkkkkkaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy, this place is reeeeeeaaalllly weird. Daughter punishing father, can it get any weirder?? ::Uses Shield and reaches Zelda:: WHOA! SHE IS WACKO!!!!

Zelda: Huh? Is that a fairy… yadda yadda blah blah blah yadda blah yadda blah blah blah yadda yadda…… Here this letter should get you up to Death Mountain.

PsychoLink: ::SNNNNNNOOOOOORRRREEE:: Huh? Oh thanks. Jeez, by what I have seen so far, I think Death Mountain will be more like "Mountain of the Fluffy Bunnies." ::Sees Impa::

Impa: Get out your ocarina.

PsychoLink: Oh, you mean the piece of junk? Okay.

Impa: ::Plays Zelda's Lullaby:: This is the song of the royal family. I've played it to Zelda since she was a baby.

PsychoLink: ::Learns Zelda's Lullaby:: Okay.

Impa: I will lead you the safe way back out hyrule castle. ::Gets out Wlakie-Talkie:: DROP THE BOMB!!

::Airplane flies overhead and dropped the bomb::

Impa: There. The hedges are cleared, the soldiers dead.

PsychoLink: Okkaaaaaaaayyy, ::Runs off::

END CHAPTER 2 

** **

Sooooooo, what do you think? Go ahead, R&R!! 


	3. Gorons should be avoided at all times

Chapta 3, c'mon

Chapta 3, c'mon. REVIEW. It's been turned towards "If I made Zelda". Oh. And one more thing. I DELCARE MYSELF KING INSANE!!! Unlike the random group, Queen Randomness, ~*Misty Dawn*~, Monarch of Randomness, DeadeyeDave, or any other random kings, CHAOSWeapon and Demonog.(Err… sorry if I didn't spell the names right.) I AM INSANE!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA!!!

Disclaimer: YOU KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO SAY. I do not own Zelda, but I just happened to own myself. I know you are shocked, amazed, and its very hard to swallow, but YES I do own Nintendo. I mean myself, I do NOT own Nintendo. 

Chapter 3 

PsychoLink: I HATE this place. The pay I'm getting to save this place is not nearly enough!!!!!!!!! Now I have to go to some demented village with demented people!!!!

Navi: Could be worse. MUCH worse. 

PsychoLink: DON"T SAY IT!!!!! IT"S ONLY PG-13!!!!!!! 

Navi: So what. You swear waaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy to much.

PsychoLink: ummmm….. I have to go to some place with rocks as the residents. 

Navi: Waaaaaaaaaitttttttt a second, how did you know that?

PsychoLink: Ummmmm…. Ooops… ::Snaps Fingers::

**Back in Time**

Impa: Visit the kakakiro village….yak yak yadda yadda…….

PsychoLink: FIRST, teach me how to teleport.

Impa: NO. ::Teleports::

**Back to the original place**

PsychoLink: There we go. NOW, to the demented village!!!!!

Navi: The speech wasn't that long, why'd you yak-yak it?

Author: Forgot what she said.

PsychoLink: Okay, NOW TO THE DEMENTED VILLAGE! 

::WHIIIIIIIIIIIIIZZZZZZZZZ::

PsychoLink: WHOAAAAA!!!!!!! This place is even more fucked-up! ::Sees demented guy by tree:: I gotta be careful around here. 

Cucco lady: Help me find my cucoos!

PsychoLink: And WHY???? 

Cucco lady: I have allergies and I'll give you a bottle!!

PsychoLink: HELL NO! I can't waste my time!! ::SLICE:: 

Cucco lady: ::Head pops off::

PsychoLink: Huh? Why didn't it come back on?????????

Author: She is a character of unimportance. You keep the bottle.

PsychoLink: OH HELL YEAH!! THIS IS GREAT!! ::Slices off everybody's heads:: WHHHHHEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! That was fun. Now, to the Mountain of the Fluffy bunnies or, Death Mountain!!!!!!

::ZIIIIIIIP::

Guard: You cannot pass.

PsychoLink: Let see… Zelda gave me something to get me through……. Ummmm….. where is it….. AH WHAT THE HELL!! ::Levitates above gate::

Navi: WHAAAAAAAAAATTT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??? 

PsychoLink: I just love gamesharks….

Navi: Okaaaaaaaaaay……..

PsychoLink: ::Sees tektite:: OOOOOOOOO!!!!!! A bunny!

Tektite: ::Scratch::

PsychoLink: Oooooohh! It's trying to hurt me. WELL HURT THIS!! ::STAB:: I don't like this weapon. I'll just use my shield from now on. 

::Keeps on climbing:: 

PsychoLink: Phew!! That was a short and easy climb!!! Hmmmmmmm…… That rock over there looks strange…

Rock: ::Uncurls itself and reveals itself to be….. a GORON!!!!::

Goron: Goron village is that way.

PsychoLink: Uhhhhhhhh…… ok…… I do NOT like these freaks. Huh….. maybe that huge boulder over there is hiding something….

Navi: I don't think so.

PsychoLink: Guess you're right. So….. I'm gonna jump down on to it. ::Jumps on to it::

::Boulder starts rolling down the mountain::

PsychoLink: Huh? ::Starts to run::AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ::breath:: ::breath:: 

Navi: KODAK MOMENT!!!! ::Click::

PsychoLink:AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

::Boulder turns Kakakiro Village into a pancake, and finally stops::

PsychoLink: ::Breath:: ::Breath:: Now that was FUN! I WANNA GO AGAIN!!!

Navi: Nah… I'm outta film. HEY!! LOOK!! LISTEN!!!

PsychoLink; What Now?!?!?

Navi: The boulder cracked open and rupees are spilling out!!

PsychoLink: Hmmmm…….. I could buy a Rocket Launcher!!! Or maybe a tank!! I KNOW!!!A nuke!!!!

Navi: Oh, and that boulder was blocking a cave.

PsychoLink: Oh great… Then that means I'll have to go in. 

END CHAPTER THREE 

Sorry it was so short. Next chapter,DODONGO'S CAVERN. R&R!


End file.
